Breaking: Government-Funded Study PROOF Jackalopes Exist!

Anti-Science Jackalope Deniers Digging In

(Friday Satire, to get past censors)

BREAKING NEWS—

Bell Digtree, and Kenny F. Bobbidy Sr. have both independently reported NEW EVIDENCE that the government has —for decades! — been funding "Gain of Jumption" research, trying to improve Jackalopes' top running speed.

In several thousands of pages obtained under FOIA by the Ignorant Propaganda Anxious Network (IPAN), detailed line-items in spending budgets can be seen for this highly controversial research

Jackalope Denialism at All-Time High

However, Anti-Science Conspiracy-minded Jackalope Deniers continue their anti-empiricism campaign despite this new evidence.

The new popularity in this conspiracy theory is somewhat inexplicable, since no one has yet been able to show ONE PUBLISHED PAPER proving that Jackalopes Don’t Exist!

One Jackalope Denier (who did not want to be identified) told Bell Digtree on his show, the LieWire: "Hey, just because they're funding Jackalope research, doesn't mean Jackalopes exist! Duh. That’s Logic-101".

Yeah, haha! OK.
Are you telling me that 10,000 Jackalopologists ALL might be wrong?

C’mon.
I don’t think so.

Herimey R. Jammond, www.HerimeyRJammond.com
reporting for Children’s Hearse Defense